i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
