I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
