Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
