So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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