I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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