What a fucking waste of an outfit
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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