that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
