You're a womanizer and a bitch.
handjob tips. give me some.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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