I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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