i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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