i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
