u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
