what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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