I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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