doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I FOUND THE LEGS
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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