Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
