More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
this hospital has no fireball
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
