I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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