dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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