in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
