he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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