Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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