dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
