I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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