Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
The beer is more important than you right now.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
BRING THE BAGELS
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
