OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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