all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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