your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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