I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
