i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
