its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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