OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
