O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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