why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
