How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
where are you?
Hypothermia
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
