Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
