I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
