how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
