I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
