Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
