Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
