I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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