who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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