party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
