is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
