i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
