i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
