Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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