Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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