I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
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